Super Bowl: The Halftime Show

I’ve been asked to critique the Super Bowl halftime. The first half of the game was dull. Peyton Manning played like brother Eli did in this stadium so often this year, which is the reason we missed the playoffs. Would the half time show lend some thrills, particularly after Red Hot Chili Peppers bass player Flea sent out an early day Tweet threatening to pull a Janet Jackson and show his naughty bits And if so, would he prove to have been appropriately named?

First up, Bruno Mars.

I know they had Bruce Springsteen play halftime several years ago, but c’mon. Met Life, built to replace Giants Stadium in the swamps of New Jersey, is the home stadium of not only The Boss, but also Bon Jovi. The Boss just released an album. And we get Bruno Mars, whose most memorable song is that one heard in snippets on Pepsi ads, where he sings, oh, yeah yeah, oh, yeah yeah? Even John Cafferty and the Beaver Brown Band or Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes would have been more poignant. But the kid can sing, even if to me he’s like every third contestant on The Voice.

Related: Super Bowl: The Good, The Bad, The Ads

I get a little excited when the Chili Peppers take over, and I know officially that I am old, because my kids are crying for those old guys to get off the stage and bring back Bruno Mars. Flea doesn’t even get a chance to do anything indecent, as they play about a quarter of a song and cede the stage to Mars, who sings a ballad with a touching interlude dedicated to the troops. How can you bash that? Not the best half time show, a little dull even, but no wardrobe malfunctions of any kind to report. Now, Peyton, how about making a game of it because the rate this thing is going, the only flee they’ll be talking about is the collective exodus of the audience.