The Longer The World Series Goes, The Longer Those Neck Pelts Grow. How ‘Bout Those Bearded Bosox?

Last night, the Boston Red Sox lost on a controversial game-ending call that put the team down two games to one to the St. Louis Cardinals in what has been a thrilling World Series. Despite being an avowed Yankees fan, I am praying this series goes to seven games, just so we can see how spectacularly atrocious the Bosox Beards will get. Because once the series is over, there is no way those Bosox wives won’t make their husbands shave.

For obnoxious factor, the team has already grown past the facial hair of the Geico Cavemen. It has gotten to the point where when watching the Fox telecast, it’s difficult to focus on baseball. It’s impossible, when Dustin Pedroia or Mike Napoli come to the plate.

All I can think of is, did someone change the channel to one of those Amish reality shows? Or, aren’t these the guys who invented those cherry lozenges my mother gave me when I was a kid with a cough?

My question: while they are clearly trying to outdo each other, which Bosox player is swinging the biggest ugly stick, in terms of facial foliage? Who has the ugliest Bosox Beard? I think Pedroia is hard to beat, but Napoli is giving him a run for his money.

This article was printed from