Jon Stewart Returns To ‘Late Night’ & Tells Stephen Colbert Of His New Look, “I’m Just A Crazy Old Man Off The Street”

Jon Stewart on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
Jon Stewart on 'The Late Show With Stephen Colbert" CBS

Jon Stewart reunited with his former Daily Show colleague Monday night on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. But it wasn’t all reminiscing about the old days.

Colbert promised “a deep dive on Jon Stewart himself.” The vehicle for that, he said, would be “the very revealing, patent-pending Colbert Questioner…at the end of which you [Stewart] will be fully known.”

While the questions were — some might say — silly, the exercise did deliver insight.

It began innocently enough.

“What is the perfect sandwich?” began Colbert.

“You can’t answer that question in terms of a particular sandwich,” said Stewart philosophically. “The best sandwich is one that understands the bread-to-ingredient ratio…It’s gotta be 65-75% ingredient.

Colbert continued: “What is the scariest animal?”

Stewart went through a litany of possibilities, dismissing sharks because they’re not a land animals.

It was then that the host of Apple+’s upcoming The Problem With Jon Stewart had a transcendent moment.

“You know what I just realized?” asked Stewart as he turned to the camera. “I’m just a crazy old man off the street. I got a glimpse of me on the camera and all of a sudden I was like, ‘Didn’t I give that guy money the other day?'”

Then and only then did Stewart answer his onetime colleague’s question, finally coming up with a “predator” that hits close to home: a cat.

“The cat is a killing machine,” explained Stewart. “It will murder all over the neighborhood and it will bring it to you and put it on your bed as if to say, ‘You better keep f*cking feeding me or I will rip you to shreds.”

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