Another salvo on Monday night’s Jimmy Kimmel Live has led to an all-out brawl between the comedian and the Republican Senator.
It was triggered by Cruz’s retweet of a side-by-side comparison of a Russian military recruitment ad and a recent U.S. Army ad based on the real-life story of a female solder who was raised by two moms. The image was accompanied by a comment that read in part, “Perhaps a woke, emasculated military is not the best idea.”
Kimmel ripped into Cruz on Monday’s show.
“Ted Cruz, who four years ago took permanent residence up the a** of a man who beat him in every election by calling his wife ugly and slandering his elderly father—says this is emasculating,” he joked. “Primarily because Ted Cruz is not human—he’s a moist, gelatinous tubeworm whose elastic band pants are filled with an inky discharge every time he speaks.”
Kimmel continued with a reference to Cruz’s infamous trip to Cancun via a fake ad captioned: “Army. Be All You Cancan Be.”
Shortly after the episode aired, Cruz attacked Kimmel on Twitter.
“@JimmyKimmelLive keeps talking crap. Really tough guy,” Cruz wrote. “Here’s a reminder, when we played one-on-one, I kicked his ass. He has to live with that…forever. Rematch, punk?”
Cruz shared a link to a charity basketball game the two played in 2018.
Kimmel hit back. “Oh Ted… you get so sad after you masturbate,” he responded on Twitter.
And he was not finished. Kimmel spent the first third of his opening monologue Tuesday recapping the duo’s Twitter exchange and sending another barrage of barbs Cruz’s way, calling him “a guy who let Donald Trump use his testicles on the driving range.”
“He was Trump’s Theon Greyjoy, ok?”
You can watch the monologue above.