“Everyone knows you cannot impeach a former president,” proclaimed Beck Bennett as the wily Kentucky Senator and former Majority Leader to Alex Moffat’s cloying Tucker Carlson of Fox News Channel fame. “That’s why we should have impeached him before, back when I said we couldn’t.”
Only slightly more blunt than the real McConnell’s too little, too late remarks in the upper chamber after the Senate failed to impeach Donald Trump for the second time today, Bennett’s version called the former Celebrity Apprentice host “guilty as Hell.” Adding that Trump was “the worst person I ever met,” this McConnell went on to to vent “and I hope every city, county and state locks his ass up. Oh god that felt good. I’ve been holding that inside my neck for four years.”
Ever since the articles of impeachment came over to the deadlocked Senate from the House of Representatives earlier this month, there was little doubt that no matter how good a case the Impeachment managers put on they wouldn’t get the 67 votes required to convict the former POTUS – and they didn’t, A preordained fact that was stamped paid in full when Sen. McConnell earlier Saturday made it official to his caucus that he would vote to acquit Trump, who it is an open secret in DC that he despises.
In that sordid vein, literally hitting the air just hours after the Senate vote went down 57-43, with seven Republicans joining the Democrats to condemn Trump for inciting the January 6 fatal assault on the Capitol by MAGA morons and militia, the all-politics SNL opener was a super villain bonanza of the GOP’s worst and weakest.
Celebrating “a great day for 30% of America,” there was Sen. Lindsey Graham, played by SNL MVP Kate McKinnon and good sycophantic buddy Sen, Ted Cruz, portrayed by Aidy Bryant. Trump’s terrible defense team members of ex-Montgomery County, PA DA Bruce Castor (the man who wouldn’t prosecute Bill Cosby for sex crimes over 15 years ago) and the very odd Michael Van Der Veen were give late night life too by Mikey Day and Pete Davidson.
Watch the full cold open above.
Beyond Beltway politics, SNL is hosted tonight by Watchmen star, Emmy and Oscar winner and One Night In Miami director Regina King, with musical guest Nathaniel Rateliff.