Trevor Noah Wrestles With The Presidential Debates, Or The ‘Fight Club’ Sequel

Trevor Noah
Comedy Central

Trevor Noah had the question of the day about last night.

“What was that? What was that!” he asked at the top of his monologue. He then gave a quick recap by screaming.

The question, of course, was about the debate Tuesday night between President Donald Trump and Joe Biden, which was basically a competition by three people (including moderator Chris Wallace) to see who could talk over the other for most of the scheduled time.

“Chris Wallace, thank you for your service. I hope you have a lot of money for your therapy,” said Noah, adding, “They need a UFC ref, not a moderator.”

Wallace, roundly criticized for his lackluster and somewhat partisan moderation, should have been firmer, Noah said.

“You need to figure out how to handle Trump in a debate,” Noah said, likening the President to a toddler with matches and saying that it does no good to keep trying to halt interruptions by invoking, “Mr. President. Mr. President.” Noah had a suggestion: “Give the next moderator a spray bottle. (Trump’s) hair turns into a gremlin if his hair gets wet.”

Noah said that he had “never wanted to see a commercial break more badly in my life. I can’t do 90 minutes of this.” Every commercial in future debates “should be for anti-depressants.”

The one upside, Noah said, “is now we know what the Fight Club sequel will be like in four years.”

See the full monologue below.

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