Joe Biden got a Hollywood-themed send-up on Friday night’s edition of Real Time with Bill Maher was the namesake host recited a list of memorably mangled movie lines he attributed to the Democratic presidential hopeful in jest.
The faux quotes took aim primarily at the faltering 77-year-old candidate’s age and vitality. Among the funnier ones:
“Life is like a box of Ex-Lax.”
“Luke, I am your Daddy-O.”
“I love the smell of Ben-Gay in the morning…”
“The first rule of Hair Club is you don’t talk about Hair Club.”
:”Are you talking to me? Speak up, I can’t hear you.”
“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to shop at this Walgreens anymore.”
“I feel the need, the need to pee.”
The bit was inspired, of course, by the former Vice President’s latest public-speaking misadventure. On Monday, Biden casually chided a 21-year-old student by dismissing her as a “lying dog-faced pony solider” during a New Hampshire campaign event.
The off-the-cuff candidate was attempting to be playful and his aides later explained the florid term as a quote plucked from an old John Wayne movie. That turned out to be not quite right, however, with the media’s follow-up research revealing no firm heritage for the quirky rejoinder which may be a mash-up of lines from a Tyrone Power film with some dialogue from one or more Wayne westerns.
Either way, Maher said, the reference shows a candidate who should just ride off into the sunset. “Most of the country was like, who’s John Wayne?”
Maher opened the show with another Hollywood-themed reference. Maher was bemoaning the U.S. Senate’s handling of the impeachment proceedings, which the talk show host characterized as a signal that Trump is being treated like “an emperor” who “can do whatever he wants” — just “like Disney with Harvey Weinstein all those years.”
The Weinstein line got a big response from Maher’s studio audience in Los Angeles but they were scratching their heads later in the show when the host dug too deep into his library of classic big-screen catchphrases. “Johnny Fontaine never gets that part,” Maher said of Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders and the White House, alluding to The Godfather and the machinations of Don Corleone on behalf of a Frank Sinatra-esque crooner in the 1972 mob epic. On Friday night it was the only Tinseltown gag that was offered and refused by Maher’s audience.