Like millions of Americans and other Earthlings, Stephen Colbert watched Robert Mueller’s double-duty congressional testimony today. Unlike most people, Colbert has a network TV show. Cue his postgame analysis on The Late Show tonight.
Early on during the monologue, the CBS late-night host revealed that he indeed learned something new today — that the former special counsel has “a gangster nickname.” After playing a clip in which said not-new moniker gleaned from his being named Robert Mueller III was mentioned, Colbert went into a bad accent and said: “Ehhh, not for nuthin’, but Bobby Three Sticks is keepin’ an eye on Big Donny Fish Lips, head of the Trumpino crime family. Rumor has it that Donny Fish Lips is in cahoots with Vladdie No Short.”
Colbert went on to poke fun at Mueller’s testimony that Donald Trump refused to be interviewed by the special counsel’s office — his excuse: “mouth spurs” — and the fact that the report did not exonerate the president. Like many in the Twitterverse, Colbert dissected Mueller’s choice of the word “exclupated,” asking, “Did your graddaughter give you a Word of the Day calendar? Come on!”
Watch an excerpt from The Late Show monologue here: