“It’s the longest running saga that doesn’t have Iron Man in it – But it does have a character who showed up late and became a breakout star. His name is William Barr. He’s the Attorney General and Dad Who Just Found Out His Son Is Going To Film School,” Noah said, describing Mueller’s exhaustive two-year investigation now being discredited by President Donald Trump’s new Attorney General William Barr.
Hours before Noah’s Comedy Central late-night show aired, Barr appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee and suggested Mueller never should have begun the investigation in the first place, and dismissed Mueller as “snitty.”
That in response to blockbuster reports in NYT and WaPo published Tuesday night, that Mueller was so disturbed by Barr’s 4-page CliffsNotes characterization of his 400+ page report report he contacted Barr at least three times to try to get Barr to release the Mueller team’s summaries. Both newspapers included the letter Mueller sent to Barr, objecting to the AG’s summary.
Barr’s summary, Noah said, is as different from Mueller’s report as “being told how the stork brought your baby brother and then watching the video of the actual child birth.”
Armed with Mueller’s leaked letter, Dems on the Senate committee “used the Mueller to paper-cut Barr to pieces,” Noah said of the day’s hearing. Among them, Sen. Mazie Hirono of Hawaii, who told Barr she was adding him to her list of those who had tossed their reputations “for the grifter and liar who sits in the Oval Office” and told Barr to to resign.
“You know you messed up if you made a senator from Hawaii mad. They live peacefully with volcanoes!” Noah marveled.
The late-night star described Wednesday’s six-hour committee brawl as the “most exciting boring fight I’ve ever seen in my life. It was the opposite of Star Wars,” Noah said, naming it Semantic Wars.”
Among Barr’s jabs, he dinged Mueller for not making a ruling on obstruction, saying if the special counsel did not make a traditional prosecuting decision he should not have investigated in the first place.
“Even if you don’t like Barr, you have to agree he raises a good point,” Noah said. “Mueller was brought in as a super detective, but instead of solving the case, he just laid out the evidence and then walked away. That would be the worst episode of Sherlock Holmes ever.”
Barr also insisted that though Mueller berated him in his letter about his 4-pager, when they subsequently spoke on the phone they were on the same page. But when Dem Sen. Richard Blumenthal asked if the committee could see the notes Barr said were taken of that phone call, to corroborate Mueller’s claim, Barr shot back “No”, adding, “Why should you have them.”
“Okay. America. I feel like I have discovered a fundamental flaw in your democracy,” the South African comic concluded.
“You have no defense against someone just being a dick.”