For the second week in a row, Saturday Night Live has taken a break from a cold open with Trump. This week also shied away from politics with the exception of an appearance by Pete Davidson as Michael Avenatti in an episode of MSNBC’s Lockup. Taking place in a jail cell in Chino Correctional Facility, we are introduced to three prisoners played by Chris Redd, Kenan Thompson and Kyle Mooney. As the three talk about what they are in for, it quickly becomes a contest about who’s the best of the baddest when it comes to their criminal charges — and then Kate McKinnon steps in as Lori Loughlin. The dynamic changes as she says, “You think that’s insane? I paid $500 grand to get my daughter into USC.”
Her three cellmates are bewildered as she claims she is “loco”. Thompson, in disbelief and embarrassment, asks, “Hold on! You paid $500 grand for USC?!”
“That’s not including the $300 grand I blew on tuition!” she says.
Things quickly escalate as Redd calls her “Aunt Becky” and she pulls out a shiv and reveals she has joined the Nation of Islam. Even so, they claim she won’t be able to survive a week.
“You think prison is hard? I’ve done 68 Hallmark movies — I’ve seen hell man,” she says. “In half those movies, I marry Santa’s son — I lost all sense of reality.”
From there, it becomes a cameo of headline-makers from the week claiming how crazy they are — including the aforementioned Davidson as Avenatti who says “I’m so shady, a pornstar once said she had to distance herself from me!”
Then, a bearded Michael Keaton as Julian Assange explaining how crazy he is: “I’m wanted in the U.S. and Sweden. I’m from Australia and I live in London in Ecuador — you try figuring that one out.”
He continues, “I attacked the US military, bitches. I’m an actual James Bond supervillain — and I’m one step away from destroying the goddam moon!”
To add color (figuratively and literally) Melissa Villasenor steps in as disgraced rapper Tekashi69 topping off this motley crew of jail cell crazy.
Watch the sketch above.