Returning to Late Night after a break, Stephen Colbert said his week had been “great because I’m not Donald Trump.”
“The news cycle rode him hard and put him away wet,” the CBS late-night host joked of the week that included Trump’s failed Hanoi summit with North Korean ruler Kim Jong Un and his former fixer’s televised testimony before the House Oversight Committee.
Colbert admitted he had “unplugged” from the news cycle while on his break but, a couple days before returning, started taking “little sips of the poison so it does not kill you on Day 1 back.”
First indication that the Orange Man was feeling blue, Colbert recalled, was Saturday’s historically long and epically weird speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference – “or D-BAG” – after “dry humping Old Glory.” Historically, it marked the “first time a flag has ever volunteered to be burned,” Colbert explained.
The speech also marked the longest presidential oration in American history, he added, revealing Trump spoke off script for 2 hours and 2 minutes.
Among Trump’s comments, he told CPAC attendees and TV viewers that Democrats “try to take you out with bullsh*t, bullsh*t.”
“Very presidential” Colbert said. “I’m reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s famous declaration: ‘Hey Robert E Lee – f*ck you.”