Huddled with his cabinet and flaunting his trademark-busting Game Of Thrones Rip-off “Sanctions Are Coming” poster, President Donald Trump:
-Boasted he would have been a great general. If not for those darned bone spurs, of course.
-Insisted his generals were “better looking than Tom Cruise – and stronger”
-Stood by his $5.6B Beloved Border Wall ask
-Dismissed the stock market plunge as a “little glitch” that will end when his trade deals kick in
-Insisted he fired Secretary of Defense James Mattis for doing a lousy job in Afghanistan
-Predicted Sen. Jeff Flake will wind up a CNN contributor
-DInged incoming Sen. Mitt Romney for attacking him so soon and not being “team player”
-Complained he spent Christmas alone at White House “except for all the guys out on the lawn with machine guns”
Stocks finished 2018 with their worst performance in a decade, but Trump called it a “little disruption” and a “glitch” will right itself when he’s completed his various trade deals, Trump boasted.
Outgoing Sen. Flake “is now selling real estate or whatever he’s doing. He’ll probably go to work for CNN. That’s my prediction,” Trump said.
Trump Insisted he fired Mattis for his handling of the war in Afghanistan, noting he got Mattis hundreds of billions of dollars to rebuild the military and complained “What’s he done for me? How has he done in Afghanistan? Not too good. I’m not happy with what he’s done in Afghanistan. And I should not be happy. As you know, President Obama fired him and, essentially, so did I,” Trump said.
Mattis resigned to protest Trump’s decision to pull troops out of Syria, giving a couple months notice. Trump told him to get out by end of year.
Trump defended his decision to pull out of Syria, saying it was “lost long ago,” and “I did not want to be there,” adding that the country is nothing but “sand and death.”
“Why isn’t Russia there?” Trump continued. “Why isn’t India there? Why isn’t Pakistan there? Why are we there? We’re 6,000 miles away? But I don’t mind… I think I would have been a good general.”
Meanwhile, Trump never mentioned the Game of Thrones ripoff poster. Others, however, did: