This week’s cold open for Saturday Night Live strayed away from the midterm elections from earlier this week and decided to focus on Jeff Sessions leaving his post as Attorney General. Giving her spot-on Smeagol-meets-southern-fried-Keebler elf impression of Session was Kate McKinnon — with a couple of other old favorites bidding him adieu.
As Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Aidy Bryant) came into Sessions’ office to say goodbye, he popped out from under the desk to say that he was waiting to give his replacement, Matthew Whitaker, a scare.
“I don’t understand how Mr. Trump could replace me,” said Sessions about his departure. “That Whitaker is just a businessman with no experience who is blindly loyal to Donald Trump…okay, hearing that out loud, it makes sense.”
As he packs up his office, Sessions reminisces. He holds a bible saying how he used the good book to justify “a lot of bad things” he has done. He also holds an NAACP “ironic award” with pride.
Vice President Mike Pence (Beck Bennett) pays him a visit as he shows off his coffee mug with a confederate flag that says “It’s not about hatred, it’s about heritage.” Sessions then sneakily shows a mini-coffee mug inside that says, “JK, it is about hatred.”
Sessions then tells Pence about his dismissal from the White House: “I dont know what I did wrong — I put kids in cages and I said no to gays what more do y’all want?!” Pence then admits that his mind went crazy at the mention of “gays” and “cages” before leaving.
After Donald Jr. and Eric Trump (Mikey Day and Alex Moffat) say their goodbyes — and Eric gets confused about the term subpoena (he thinks it’s “some penis”) — Sessions gets really emotional and starts singing Adele’s “Someone Like You” while longingly looking at a picture of Trump (well, Alec Baldwin as Trump).
“I really did my best Mr. Trump,” Sessions admits. “I thought you would at least say goodbye.”
And just when you think Baldwin would make his return as Trump, we get a different surprise: Robert De Niro as Robert Mueller. (Chances are, Baldwin is probably still laying low after the incident where he allegedly punched a guy over a parking spot.)
Sessions is nervous to see Mueller and asks to see the report he has on Trump. He, of course says no, but Sessions asked if he helped with the report, to which Mueller says, “More than you’ll ever know.”
Like an elf getting a piece of clothing to be set free in Harry Potter, Mueller gives Sessions a piece of toilet paper from Trump’s shoe to Session as a gesture of gratitude.
“You’re a weird little dude Jeff,” says Mueller.
They end in a warm embrace singing a reprise of “Someone Like You.” You can watch the entire skit above.