As you remember, Samantha Bee was one of the first — if not the first person — to publicly call out Donald Trump’s administration about the family separation policy (remember the “feckless c*nt” comment thrown at Ivanka Trump?) In any case, Bee did a reprise of her song as she addressed Trump signing the executive order that stopped the separation of children from their parents at the Southern border. All is good, right? Well, not really.
In her Full Frontal opening monologue Wednesday night, Bee unpacked what this all meant. She also took the opportunity to address Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen attempt to explain all of it.
“The President has fixed it with the next worst thing,” said Bee in regards to what she calls “Pre-K prisons.” She explained the executive order pretty much as “No more baby internment camps, just regular internment camps.”
“Cool…that’s what we call a win in 2018,” she adds.
Instead of separating families, Trump’s “policy not a policy” calls for imprisoning families together at the border or as she calls it, “Mommy and me jails.”
She goes on to explain that Trump is challenging the 1997 Flores Consent Decree, which says that “children must be released from detention facilities within 20 days” and that they must be in the least restrictive conditions as possible. She then quipped that at one point these children will no longer be children at which they will celebrate their “behind Bars Mitzvah.”
Bee then went on to Nielsen’s press conference in regards to the executive order where she said they weren’t separating children in the first place. Likening her to a “rogue Land’s End model,” she played footage of the conference that was intercut with footage of Dolores Umbridge from Harry Potter, Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Jadis the White Witch from The Chronicles of Narnia and other characters from TV who have a certain way with children.
From there, she pointed out that Trump’s administration can’t get its story straight when it comes to the policy. After playing footage of Trump, Jeff Sessions and others sharing “every story” — which was confusing. That said, she came to the conclusion saying “Democrats made the law which was in the Bible which is fair because these children are tricking the government into them separating them from their parents and also they are simultaneously separated and not separated you know, just like Donald and Melania.”
She also threw some shade at the border patrol for being uncomfortable using the word “cages” to describe where they house the children. “Sorry, not cages…I meant ‘chain-link compassion walls’,” said Bee.
She then added, while sipping a cup of tea, “Who knew that conservatives were sensitive about the C-word — I should make note of that.”