Stephen Colbert Delivers Satan’s Message To Baby Snatching AG Jeff Sessions: “See You Soon”

Stephen Colbert

UPDATED with video: There is the right side of history and then there is the side of history in which the Trump administration defends its policy of separating children from their parents, Stephen Colbert said – one of many late-night stars to pummel President Donald Trump’s baby-snatching immigration policy.

Fox News Channel argued the chain link fenced boxes in which children are being put after they are separated from their parent are not cages, they’re pens, the CBS late night host described via video. “We’re not treating these kids like zoo animals. We’re treating them like farm animals,” Colbert translated.

Border patrol told CBS This Morning they’re “very uncomfortable” with the characterization of the boxes as “cages,” saying it’s not inaccurate – it’s just uncomfortable-making.

“It’s accurate; that’s why they’re uncomfortable,” Colbert explained.

While President Donald Trump continues to blame Democrats for forcing him to snatch children from their parents, not everyone in the administration is marching in step with his policy, first announced in April by Attorney General Jeff sessions.

“Some members of his administration say it does not even exist,” Colbert said. “Including DHS Secretary and Definitely-Not-Descendent-Of-Immigrants Kirstjen Nielsen, who had tweeted one day earlier: “We do not have a policy of separating families at the border. Period.”

“Then why are you locking up kids at an abandoned Walmart?!” Colbert asked.


But, the next morning, Colbert noted, Nielsen sprang a new storyline on America: “We do not have the luxury of pretending that all individuals coming to this country as a family unit are, in fact, a family.”

Responded Colbert: “Who can tell if these weeping toddlers are part of a family? They might not even be toddlers. They might be adults with shoes on their knees!”

Nielsen went on, saying they have to do their job and will not apologize for doing their job.

Nielsen is not the only member of the Trump administration defending the tactic. So Is White House Senior Policy Adviser Stephen Miller. He has called separating children from their parents “a potent tool … for stopping migrants from flooding across the border.”

“Which is fitting because I’ve always thought of Stephen Miller as a potent tool,” Colbert snarked, later correcting that – “impotent.”

In a new segment, The Devil’s Advocate, Satan explained the children are being detained in pens like the ones in which “we make Charles Manson fight Thomas Jefferson. Sorry, Tom, it was the slave stuff.”

“By the way, Jeff Sessions: See you soon.”

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