Stephen Colbert Takes Jabs At CBS Legal Fight, “Diluted” Drinks And Donald Trump At Upfronts

Stephen Colbert

When Stephen Colbert took the stage at CBS Upfronts in New York, it was basically just like a Late Show opening monologue, expectedly delivering jokes that check all the Donald Trump boxes — but he also took a jab at CBS’ current legal battles.

Staying on top of current events, Colbert didn’t shy away from the news of a Delaware judge granting a 24-hour protective order on CBS’ motion of May 14 for a temporary restraining order to stop National Amusement from halting a dilution of the holding company’s control of 79.6% of the media corporation’s voting shares. Later in his presentation, the Late Show host invited everyone to the Plaza for the CBS afterparty saying, “The cocktails won’t be diluted.”

As soon as he came out on stage he welcomed everyone — especially those from the Trump administration looking for jobs (none were there as far as I know). He singled out Steve Bannon telling him if he was looking for a job, “The Amazing Race isn’t what you think it’s about.”

The Trump jokes continued as he went on to say that it is the one-year anniversary of Robert Mueller’s investigation on Trump. He was excited that Rudy Giuliani is one of Trump’s newest lawyers and said they are on the same wavelength and that “they are so close they finish each other’s prison sentences.”

Colbert didn’t leave the stage without celebrating the success of CBS and how the Late Show is the number 1 show in late night. He also said that “they have the most exciting legal dramas.” He took a beat before saying, “they also have great TV shows.

He also points out how seven out of the top 10 comedies are on CBS. The other three are on Fox News,” he adds.

In the short amount of time he had on stage, he managed to churn out plenty of jokes about CBS’ success. He said that with the reboot of Murphy Brown and Magnum P.I., CBS is on its way to being the number one network in 2018 and in 1988. He also praised the network’s game shows Let’s Make a Deal and The Price is Right, saying that those were the two things said in the conversation between Michael Cohen and Stormy Daniels.

But before he left the stage, he addressed what he said is the biggest fight of the moment. He called it the “elephant in the room” and says that he was going to pick a side and talk about the fight even though he was told not to. The audience was thinking that he was going to address the legal squabble between Redstone and CBS but then he declared,  “It’s Yanny, you Laurel people are insane,” referencing the audio clip debate of “yanny and laurel” that has been taking the Internet by storm.

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