So maybe the jokes didn’t exactly write themselves, but the Stormy Daniels lawsuit certainly gave TV’s late night hosts something to focus on. “The other storm ravaging the East Coast,” as Jimmy Kimmel put it, dominated last night’s monologues, with comic minds going straight to the mysterious “Double D”, Trump lawyer Michael Cohen’s not-so-lawyerly loan, and, inevitably, the possibility of certain presidential pics slouching toward somewhere to be born.
Here are some Stormy highlights, in no particular order:
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Like the other talkers, Kimmel, who actually hosted Daniels on his ABC show and so might have played at least some small part in Team Trump’s recent attempts to legally hush her, recapped Daniels’ lawsuit, explaining the cast of characters – Michael Cohen, Peggy Peterson, David Dennison. Noting that Trump – or Dennison – didn’t sign the payment contract with Daniels, Kimmel showed a quick montage of other times the president had to be reminded to actually leave his signature at those high-profile signing ceremonies.
Legal Advice: “Don’t lend money to people who start fake universities.”
Best Bit: A clip montage of Trump referring to himself in third-person, using that weird, doofus voice meant to represent his critics.
Kicker: About Peggy & David, “I”m still rooting for those crazy kids.”
Watch Kimmel’s monologue above.
The Late Late Show With James Corden
CBS’ Corden also zeroed in on Trump’s failure to sign on the dotted line. “How many porn star hush agreements does he have that he actually forgot to sign one?”
Best Gags: Corden says that Daniels’ attorney has suggested his client has certain photos or text messages. “That sounds like a threat – not to him, to the rest of us. If there are naked pictures of Donald Trump (gags repeatedly)..They can go ahead and stay hushed.”
Storm Warning: Corden begins his Daniels joke around the 1:07 mark:
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
CBS’ Colbert also started with the weather – New York’s blizzard – then segued to “a whole other Storm” headed Trump’s way. “Let those words sink in for a second: A porn star is the president. We haven’t seen anything like this the famous headline ‘Dewey Boinks Truman’.”
Legal Advice: On Daniels receiving $130,000 to keep her Trump secret, Colbert said, “I don’t know why. If I was her I would keep that secret for free.” And that mysteriously unsigned document? “This is the thing Trump thought was too sketchy to put his name on? What about Trump University? Or Don Jr.?”
P.S.: The David Dennison and Peggy Peterson names make sense when you realize they represent two of Trump’s “favorite things: Double Ds and PP”:
Late Night with Seth Meyers
NBC’s Meyers, including the scandal in his Closer Look segment, also thought it odd Trump didn’t sign the document, even surprised he didn’t have a signing ceremony. David Dennison, he said, is “the best fake name a president has has ever had because it’s the ONLY fake name a president ever had.” Said Meyers, no one ever heard Abe Lincoln say, “Mary Todd, you’re going to hear some stuff about a Stovepipe Jones, it’s not me.”
Can’t Unimagine: What to expect from possible pics? “A flaming hot Cheetoh sitting on a Brillo pad.”
Storm Warning: Meyers dives into the scandal at the 4:55 mark:
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
NBC’s Fallon did dwell too much, getting to the point with a “faking it” joke and Daniels’ attorney claiming his client is free to talk about her experience with Trump. “Great,” Fallon said, “just not while we’re eating.”
Storm Warning: Jimmy gets to Stormy at about the 3:30 mark.