John Oliver: Donald Trump Lost Popular Vote On NRA’s Terrible Plan To Arm Teachers

John Oliver kicked off Last Week Tonight celebrating his legal victory over coal king Robert Murray.

Quick update regarding this show, you may remember last year we did an episode on coal in which “We said a lot of things about him, culminating in a seven-foot squirrel telling him to ‘Eat Shit’ and he sued us for defamation,” Oliver recalled gleefully. “That case has actually been going on ever since; just this week we that learned the judge has said he is going to dismiss it.”

Oliver and his HBO late-night show had a First Amendment right to call Murray a “geriatric Dr. Evil” and to ridicule Murray Energy Corporation in a scathing segment last June, said a West Virginia judge presiding over Murray’s defamation lawsuit.

Oliver noted it’s not final yet and he’s been advised not to say much for now, as Giant Squirrel joined him on stage and flashed an “Eat Shit, Bob” card.

“I think we know, now is not the time for victory laps. It’s not a time for gloating. It’s not a time for saying hey we won and just rubbing it the face of [Murray],” Oliver gloated. “That time will come, oh it will come!” he crowed, promising to discuss this case as soon as they are able but, until then, telling Giant Squirrel to be gone.

Moving on to a quick recap of the week dominated by the continuing debate over gun control, President Donald Trump has said he is “determined to stop this from ever happening again, in the wake of the latest school mass shooting,” Oliver observed.

POTUS gave a glimpse of his plan, telling TV cameras, “We need to let people know, ‘You come into our schools, you’re going to be dead and it’s going to be fast’.”

Argued Oliver, “‘You’re going to be dead and it’s going to be fast’ is already the slogan for Carl’s Jr. so you can’t use that.”

Trump focus-grouped his idea of arming school teachers during his Wednesday “listening session” with survivors of the Florida shooters, among those in attendance.

Trump’s plan tanked in that room, which also includes parents of Sandy Hook victims and survivors of Columbine. Trump declined to heed what those in the room were indicating, even though he had been holding on to a card which, among other things, reminded him to say “I hear you” during the “listening session.”

“That is Donald Trump in a nutshell,” Oliver observed: proposing a terrible idea in a tone-deaf way and then refusing to acknowledge he just lost the popular vote,” Oliver joked.

Teachers groups also don’t think much of Trump’s idea, which actually is the National Rifle Association’s idea. And, arming 20 percent of the country’s public and private school teachers would mean arming more than 700,000 people, with guns, in schools.

“It’ s no wonder the NRA likes this solution. It involves buying hundreds of thousands of guns,” Oliver said, pointing out it’s the organization’s solution to everything. “They’d probably deal with climate change by pointing a glock at the ocean and daring the mother f*cker to rise,” Oliver snarked.