The Good Place star Jameela Jamil has said that the allegations of an uncomfortable sexual encounter against Aziz Ansari have sparked an interesting conversation about consent. In a post on her personal website, she blames music videos and pornography for misleading men.
Jamil, who plays socialite Tahani Al-Jamil on the NBC sitcom, penned a 1,000 word letter to address the issues that the Ansari case has brought up, although she admits it’s “not actually an article about him.” A New York photographer accused the Master Of None star of making her feel “victimized” following a date.
“It has indeed sparked an interesting conversation about consent, both technical and more importantly, emotional, and how vital it is to read the room and make sure the other person is not just willing, but damn well enthusiastic,” Jamil writes. “Especially, in my opinion, if that person is the one to be penetrated. You want to enter them. You best ensure you are a welcome guest, not someone who just begged, pressured, guilt-tripped or harassed their way inside.”
She says respectful and patient men are “sadly the exception, not the norm. Our society has mislead men. We have allowed pornography to continuously promote that narrative that a woman is a hole for a man to enjoy when and how he feels like it…
“Then we have music videos where the girls are always practically naked and performing rehearsed dance routines for the men, who are sitting there on their arses, sometimes in outdoor winter layers, doing nothing other than enjoying their needs being met.”
Jamil continues, “We also need to reassure women that their fear of being thought of as ‘difficult,’ ‘awkward’ or god forbid, ‘frigid,’ should be completely eradicated, effective immediately. These are stereotypes created by the patriarchy, about women, to rather astonishingly, douse women in shame for feeling ownership over their own bodies and moving at a pace they are comfortable with.”
Jamil, a former British television presenter for Channel 4 who scored her first acting role in Mike Schur’s The Good Place, adds that she hopes in the future young women in the public eye use their platforms to promote a “balanced approach to arousal… I hope men stop singing about putting p***ies in blenders and making p***y humus out of them, or whatever. I hope the men (who don’t already) actually realize and come to terms with the fact that porn is a bullshit fantasy and learning sex from pornography is like learning how to drive from The Fast And The Furious. A terrible idea.”
Jamil is repped by UTA and 3 Arts.