UPDATED with video: Speaking for many, Late Show host Stephen Colbert opened his Thursday program by confessing, “I am going to say something right now I did not think was possible anymore: I am shocked by something Donald Trump said.”
He continued: “I thought by now, after five months of this, that my soul had calcified into a crouton. Not true, because today, the President of the United States tweeted”:
“Where to begin,” Colbert sighed. “It’s a buffet of [expletive]”:
“First of all, someone bleeding badly at your door and you say no? It sounds like your health care plan,” Colbert joked.
“I mean, turning them away from your hotel during the middle of winter is literally the story of Christmas. Only there wasn’t a wise man in sight.”
“This is shocking and vicious. So, on brand!” Colbert snarked.
Reviews of the tweets came in fast and furious, Colbert described, including: “vulgar,” “crude” and “a new low.”
“No, it’s the same low,” Colbert disagreed. We’re at a cruising altitude of, like, the bottom of the Marianas Trench right now. There are giant squid looking down at America right now.”
Of course this is shocking to everyone who is not employed by Donald Trump.
Republican Ben Sasse tweeted: “Please just stop. This isn’t normal. ”
Sen. Lindsey Graham tweeted: “Mr. President, your tweet was beneath the office and represents what is wrong with American politics, not the greatness of America.”
“Hold it right there, Lindsey,” Colbert ordered. This is not what’s wrong with American politics. You don’t see Paul Ryan throwing shade at Chuck Schumer over his eye job. This is what’s wrong with the American president. Let’s stop pretending that Trump is symptom of something. He is the disease.”