Conan: “First Thing I Did This Morning Was Call My High School Bully And Congratulate Him”

Conan O’Brien, like some of his other late night colleagues, opened his first program following Donald Trump’s stunning Election Night win, with a mix of pathos and humor usually reserved for first broadcasts following a terror attack or some other massive catastrophe:

“Two things happened last night – Donald Trump got elected president, and my job just got easier for the next 4 years,” he began his eponymous TBS show.

“The first thing I did this morning was call my old high school bully and congratulate him.”

“And for the millions who are disappointed for Hillary, remember, America has a special place for people who lose. And ironically, it’s the cast of Celebrity Apprentice.”

Addressing the previous night’s “massive shock,” Conan noted, “In the last few years I’ve traveled to a bunch of countries – Cuba, Armenia, the Middle East – where the people would give anything to have our system. In America, we get to pick who’s going to ruin our country, and that is a privilege. It has given me a great perspective– I was watching President Obama and Hillary Clinton speak today about a peaceful transfer of power and it gave me chills.”

Today, Americans have the right to feel happy, angry, pessimistic, optimistic, but everyone should feel grateful that we get to vote and if we don’t get our way, we have the chance to try again. Winston Churchill once said ‘Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all those other forms that have been tried.’  Of course, Winston Churchill also said, when healing a divided nation always resort to cheap, visual comedy.”

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