Samantha Bee Calls For Banning Of “High Capacity Penis Substitutes” After Orlando Shootings


Among the late night hosts who opened their first show following the Orlando mass shooting by addressing it, no one was more aggressive than TBS’s Full Frontal host Samantha Bee, who dismissed the “love conquers hate” response as “beautiful, but what the f*ck, I am too angry.”

“Love does not win unless we start loving each other to solve our f*cking problems,” she responded.

Bee, like other late-night hosts, zoomed in on the Orlando shooter’s weapon of choice, the AR-15.
“These high capacity penis substitutes are a shitty choice for hunting and home protection, but perfect for portable mayhem,” Bee explained. “What Paul Giamatti is to biopics, the highly profitable AR-15 is to deadly mass shooting. It turns up at gay nightclubs, movie theaters, an elementary school, colleges, even an office party with co-workers. It’s nicknamed America’s Gun and, unlike handguns, it can be bought in Florida with no waiting period.”

While some other late-night hosts focused on presumptive GOP candidate Donald Trump’s response to the killing of 49 at gay nightclub Pulse early Sunday, Bee went after Florida Gov. Rick Scott. When asked, at a Sunday morning news conference, whether it was time to do something about the semi-automatic weapon used in so many mass shootings, Scott responded, “We’re dealing with a tragedy right now. Our prayers go out to everybody impacted. Law enforcement is doing their job…There will be plenty of time to think about how do we continue to improve our society.”

Which, for those keeping track, sounded suspiciously like he was plagiarizing the response of Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal in a news conference after the 2015 movie-theater shooting in Lafayette. “If only shooting victims could dodge bullets as deftly as you dodged that question,” Bee snarked of Scott’s response. “What the fu*k are you even talking about? This wasn’t even Orlando’s first high-profile shooting of the weekend!

NBC’s Late Night host Seth Meyers also addressed the weapon used on Sunday in his show opening. “We’re going to talk about

Late Night with Seth Meyers
Late Night with Seth Meyers

guns, because whether the shooter was a homophobe, mentally ill, a terrorist inspired by ISIS or all three, what allowed him to kill so many people on Sunday was his gun.  And that means we’re likely about to enter another contentious debate about gun control.

He cited a study showing that places where there are more guns, there are more gun deaths. “That’s like saying where there are more white people, there’s more brunch,” Meyers quipped.

The NRA argues the AR-15 assault rifle used is useful for hunting or home defense, said Meyers, as had Bee. Meyers, however, quoted one hunter who told Slate that any hunter who needs to use an AR-15 to hunt, sucks at it, and should take up video games.

Then Meyers, like Stephen Colbert, talked about Donald Trump’s tweet not long after the attack, in which he “claimed credit.”

“I don’t know who’s  been congratulating Trump, but you might want to redirect your congrats to the first responders, or those waiting in line to give blood. They’re the ones who deserve congrats and they’re not asking for it,” Meyers said:

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