Chuck Lorre: “If Charlie Sheen Outlives Me, I'm Gonna Be Really Pissed”

UPDATE: Charlie Sheen was caught by a TMZ crew while out and about today and sent Chuck Lorre a video response: “Chuck, I will outlive you. I will piss you off, ” he said before adding “I miss you, man” and urged Lorre to “get off those other shows” and return to Men.

PREVIOUS: Continuing an old tradition going back to Cybill, Chuck Lorre uses the vanity cards at the end of his shows to muse about life and showbiz. He has drawn attention several times when CBS censored some of his write-ups, which are all available in their original form at And, over the past year, Lorre has  made subtle references to the troubled personal life of Two and a Half Men star Charlie Sheen in vanity cards while largely keeping mum beyond that. But, last night, at the end of the final fresh episode (for now) of the sitcom, which has been idle while its main star undergoes rehab, Lorre said this about the actor who has made mega-millions for the executive producer, and vice versa. Here is the card:


I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I’ve had chest x–rays, cardio stress tests, EKG’s and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.

If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I’m gonna be really pissed.

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