Richard E. Grant rocked up to the 2023 BAFTA Film Awards in the Batmobile at the advice of Steve Martin, he revealed in a video skit that kicked off his BAFTA monologue tonight. “One single gag can ruin your life and career,” Martin warned him before offering up 1000 rules (most of them thankfully omitted from broadcast) for how to be the perfect awards show host. “Don’t wear white,” Martin warned Grant, already clad in a white tux. “Start working out your monologue at least a year in advance”; “Don’t pick a fight with Judi Dench”; and “Don’t invest in Helen Mirren’s cryptocurrency, she’s a scammer.”
Addressing the guests in his monologue, he said, “Everyone here started with one lucky break,” before telling a story about how Withnail and I only came to him after Daniel Day-Lewis turned it down. “It was a real sliding doors moment, because tonight here I am hosting the awards, while in the last 10 years, Daniel’s only been in two films.”
In an irreverent speech that was far less risque than last year’s Rebel Wilson monologue, Grant used the opportunity to seek work from the industry audience, reading his resume to the crowd. “Richard E. Grant. Acting age range, 30-to-50, via deepfake. Like all actors here tonight, I can 100% ride a horse. I want you to know my favorite film of the year is whichever one you made.”
Signing off with a nod to last year’s Will Smith Oscar controversy, Grant said, “I’m trying my best to make sure nobody on my watch gets slapped tonight.”
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