Jimmy Kimmel isn’t done talking about last week’s horrific shooting in small-town Texas yet — not when former President Donald Trump, Sen. Ted Cruz and “their fellow sewer-dwellers are working overtime this week to shift the blame.”
The late-night host noted Tuesday on Jimmy Kimmel Live! that the NRA held its “annual meeting of the mindless” three days after the tragedy less than 300 miles away — because “you wouldn’t wanna lose that security deposit, now would you?” He asked later in the monologue, “What if the Democrats forced a vote on a bill that restricts demons from buying weapons? How would the Republicans vote on that?”
He continued: “It’s a tough one because you start saying demons can’t carry guns, next you have to vote on goblins. Can goblins? Chupacabras? What about the babadook? It’s a slippery slope.”
Kimmel then turned his attention to Cruz, the GOP’s junior senator from Texas. “And speaking of demons,” he began, noting that the pol was confronted by a man while at a restaurant over the weekend. “Ted Cruz must know that, at this point, every busboy spits in his food, right? But maybe that’s what he likes about eating out. … I, for one, hope Ted Cruz never gets to eat peacefully at a restaurant again.”
That was a warmup for the main event: The near-nightly serving of Trump roast.
Addressing the double impeachee’s address at the NRA event, Kimmel quipped: “He called for ‘impenetrable security at every school all across our land.’ He wants it to be harder to enter a school than it is for him to enter Melania.”
Ouch.
The bit also included this line: “Trump and Cruz and all their fellow sewer-dwellers are working overtime this week to shift the blame from what is obviously an overabundance of dangerous semi-automatic weapons to a variety of issues and plans that they’re not going to do anything about either.”
He then played a minute-plus compilation of various talking heads discussing said issues and plans — ending with a couple at the NRA event. The man says, “It’s a demon possession problem, not a gun possession [problem]. We don’t need gun control, we need demon control.”
Kimmel then remarked, “Well, those two make more sense than any of the rest of ’em!”
Watch the full monologue above.
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