James Austin Johnson returned as Joe Biden on Saturday Night Live tonight, as the president offered his plan to curb Covid.
The show opened with Johnson’s Biden at a lectern, in another speech to the nation, as he leaned into the microphone and said, “There’s one simple thing you can do to make this whole virus go away.” The he whispered, “Stop seeing Spider-Man.”
“Think about it — when did Spider-Man come out? December 17th. When did every single person get Omicron? The week after December 17th.”
Then Biden took questions from the press, stunned at what they just heard.
One reporter asked, “Did you really just blame the entire spread of Omicron on people seeing Spider-Man?”
“I did. Yes. Next question,” Biden said.
“So you think all Covid will end if people stop going to the movies?” another reporter asked.
Biden replied, “I didn’t say, ‘Don’t go to the movies. I said ‘Stop seeing Spider-Man.’ See anything else. I saw the first half hour of House of Gucci. That’s more than enough movie for anyone.”
Another reporter question: “Is this theory based on any kind of data?”
“Yes, everyone in America has seen Spider-Man like eight times. Everyone in America also has Covid. Stop seeing Spider-Man.”
The skit comes after a brutal week for Biden, with the Omicron variant widespread, the Supreme Court blocking his employer vaccine mandate and his agenda stalled on Capitol Hill.
Later in the skit, a reported asked, “Have you seen Spider-Man?”
“I couldn’t get tickets, and I am on the stubs A-list,” he said. “Jill and I tried to go last night and they only had one seat left in the front row. What was I supposed to do? Make Jill go see Encanto alone?”
Another reporter asked, “What about experts who say the real problem is a lack of testing?”
Biden replied, “Oh, they’ve tested Spider-Man. 98% on Au Gratin Potatoes.”
As reporters ask the president about other problems, like inflation and voting rights, and he blames them on Spider-Man.
Reporter: “Mr. President, isn’t the real reason you can’t pass the Voting Rights Act because members of your own party refuse to get rid of the filibuster?”
Biden: “It’s true. Spider-Man has his villains. I have Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema. Only difference is, if one of Spider-Man’s villains saw Kyrsten Sinema, they would say, ‘Hey honey, that outfit is a little much.'”
Finally, a reporter asked, “Do you think that elsewhere in the multiverse, there’s a version of you that wants people to see Spider-Man?”
Biden replied, “Finally a good question. I actually thought about this a lot. I’m consulting with Dr. Fauci and Doctor Strange. As far as I can tell, there are at least three Joe Bidens. One of them is me. One of them is the Joe Biden that lost to Trump. That Joe Biden hosts a show on CNBC called T-Birds, Tacos and Trains. There’s a third Joe Biden who was the greatest president in history. My approval ratings are sky high, and I actually am supported by my own part. And I understand the show Euphoria.“
“You’re now saying that we are living in a Spider-Man style multiverse?” a reporter then asked.
“Doesn’t that make more sense than whatever the hell our current world is?” Biden responded.
The skit concluded with a visit from Pete Davidson, playing “Joe Biden from the real universe,” who told the press that “the timeline you are all living in is about to collapse. It was created as a joke starting in 2016 when the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. Now it spiraled out of control and could explode at any minute.”
“Am I the president in this real world?” Biden asked.
Pete Davidson’s Biden responded, “Of course not. Did you really think that you would lose four times and then finally win when you were 78?”
Must Read Stories
Subscribe to Deadline Breaking News Alerts and keep your inbox happy.