Trevor Noah had the question of the day about last night.
“What was that? What was that!” he asked at the top of his monologue. He then gave a quick recap by screaming.
The question, of course, was about the debate Tuesday night between President Donald Trump and Joe Biden, which was basically a competition by three people (including moderator Chris Wallace) to see who could talk over the other for most of the scheduled time.
“Chris Wallace, thank you for your service. I hope you have a lot of money for your therapy,” said Noah, adding, “They need a UFC ref, not a moderator.”
Wallace, roundly criticized for his lackluster and somewhat partisan moderation, should have been firmer, Noah said.
“You need to figure out how to handle Trump in a debate,” Noah said, likening the President to a toddler with matches and saying that it does no good to keep trying to halt interruptions by invoking, “Mr. President. Mr. President.” Noah had a suggestion: “Give the next moderator a spray bottle. (Trump’s) hair turns into a gremlin if his hair gets wet.”
Noah said that he had “never wanted to see a commercial break more badly in my life. I can’t do 90 minutes of this.” Every commercial in future debates “should be for anti-depressants.”
The one upside, Noah said, “is now we know what the Fight Club sequel will be like in four years.”
See the full monologue below.
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