Trevor Noah, Stephen Colbert Ponder Who Is The Badder Dude: Jussie Smollett Or Corn Pop?

Trevor Noah devoted the first part of his show tonight to an examination of the new indictment of Jussie Smollett – the former Empire actor and “Black Pinocchio,” as Noah termed him – who now faces Chicago justice in this recurring storyline.

“I know what he did was wrong, but I kind of feel bad for him,” said Noah. Yes, he called in a false crime – but that’s no worse than the nationwide group of ladies who constantly phone the police when they see perceived wrongdoing. “He should be forced to get a white lady nickname,” said Noah. “There goes Subway Smollett!”

Meanwhile, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert focused on the upcoming Democratic primaries. In Nevada, Colbert noted, “Bernie will fit right in at the nickel slots.”

The next primary is in Colbert’s home state of South Carolina, which he promised to be on “like shrimp on grits.”

The primary is being held on Sat. Feb. 29, which is Leap Day. “It only exists once every four years, like the South Carolina Democratic party,” said Colbert. He also pointed out Joe Biden’s enthusiasm at being in a state that’s likely more amenable to his candidacy, given his claims of partaking in sit-ins during the 60s civil rights movement and his close association with President Obama’s administration.

Colbert showed a clip of the former VP shouting about how African Americans and Hispanics haven’t really had a vote yet.

Colbert couldn’t resist pointing out the reason why: the previous states weighing in on the Democratic candidates, Iowa and New Hampshire, are “so white you have to go to the supermarket’s international aisle to buy pepper.”