UPDATED with video: Felicity Huffman, Cats, Joe Pesci, the Catholic Church, Judi Dench and James Corden got the Ricky Gervais treatment during the opening monologue of tonight’s Golden Globe Awards, but none took the brunt of the host’s jibes quite as sharply as Hollywood itself.
Casting the industry town as hypocritically woke – with a Jeffrey Epstein joke thrown in for good measure – the notoriously scathing British comic advised Golden Globe winners to skip the moralizing. Said Gervais, “Thank your agent and your God and…” The rest was bleeped, but he seemed to say something along the lines of “f*ck off.”
“You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything,” Gervais cautioned. “Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.”
Apple TV’s woke The Morning Show, Gervais said, was “made by a company that runs sweat shops in China.” If ISIS started a streaming service, he said, Hollywood would call their agents.
Individual stars didn’t get through the opening monologue completely unscathed, if none were as skewered quite so efficiently as Gervais’ former punching bag Mel Gibson. Felicity Huffman, Gervais said, made the license plate on his car, Joe Pesci looks like Baby Yoda and Cats‘ Judi Dench chose that movie because she “likes nothing better than plunking down on the carpet, lifting her leg and licking her [BLEEP].” James Corden, the host said, was “a fat pussy, and he was in Cats.”
As for Hollywood’s executives, they were all terrified that they’d be next on Ronan Farrow’s list, Gervais said, and sticking with the sexual scandal theme, the host noted that pedophile movies were big in 2019: “Surviving R. Kelly, [Leaving] Neverland, The Two Popes…”
Switching gears a bit, Gervais devoted a chunk of the monologue to Netflix’s industry domination. The streaming service’s After Life series is about a man who wants to kill himself after his wife dies of cancer, and it’s still more entertaining than the Globes, Gervais said.
Then he offered a spoiler alert: Since After Life has a Season 2, the lead character obviously doesn’t kill himself, “just like Jeffrey Epstein.” As the crowd gasped, the host, returning to form, said, “Oh shut up – I know he’s your friend.”
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