Saturday Night Live kicked off this weekend’s episode with the politics of money and health care.
The Democratic presidential hopeful, played by SNL regular Kate McKinnon, was shown making a campaign stop at a town hall in Iowa. She started by mocking former Rep. Beto O’Rourke, who just dropped out of the race.
“Let me know how my dust tastes,” she said to O’Rourke, who was absent because his campaign is dunzo. McKinnon’s Warren then turned her attention to President Donald Trump, who recently changed his residency from New York to Florida.
“So Donald, don’t stand too close to an orange tree, because someone might try to pick your head,” she quipped.
Next, it was time for McKinnon to answer to audience members. The big question of the night was how the nation would pay for the senator’s $20.5 trillion proposal, which she unveiled Friday in real life.
“We’re going to cut military spending,” McKinnon said, adding that she’d also get Amazon CEO and billionaire Jeff Bezos to help fund it.
“Jeff Bezos is going to go from paying no tax to a tax,” she insisted while pointing to a low-tech chalk board that referred to Bezos as “Amazon Creep.”
“The government is a little like Amazon Prime, you reap the benefits, you gotta pay an annual fee,” she insisted.
Her third proposal was to tax banks.
“Duh. What did you think I was going to do?” she asked. “Hold up a gas station? Come on, they’re gonna pay for it and not one penny from the middle class. All we have to do is convince JP Morgan to operate like a nonprofit.”
Still, a female voter complained that she was happy with her current medical plan, but under Warren’s proposal she’d have to give it up.
“I hear this from a lot of people, so let me help you to understand,” McKinnon said. “Your insurance is like a bad boyfriend. Girl, listen to me. You need to leave him. He’s draining you. You deserve better. Dump his ass!” (You can watch the cold open above.)
Kristen Stewart, who has two films hitting theaters soon (Charlie’s Angels on Nov. 15, and Seberg out Dec. 13), hosted the episode, with Coldplay serving as musical guest.
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