‘The Late Show With Stephen Colbert’ Digs Into Democratic Debates Food Fight

In his Late Show monologue, Stephen Colbert joined the chorus of those who scored the debate a win for California Sen. Kamala Harris. He must have been distracted by her rhetorical mastery, though, because the lines he and his writers came up with were not especially effective.

“I believe in global warming because Kamala Harris was on fire,” he quipped. Or, after Harris lit into Biden’s opposition to federally mandated school busing, he said, “I believe Harris on busing, because she just took Biden to school.”

As a former prosecutor, Colbert said, Harris “sentenced [her rivals] to two hours of being her pasty backup singers.”

Colbert was much sharper on the odd spectacle of it all, and the panoply of eccentric candidates being showcased in the two-night debates.

Colorado Sen. Michael Bennet looked like he had stumbled onto the stage, but really “was just looking for the salad bar.”

Former tech executive Andrew Yang, who departed from centuries of political decorum and ditched the necktie, also had a deer-in-headlights moment. After the clip, Colbert imagined him thinking,  “I’m just trying to remember where I left my tie.”

Colbert relished the chance to roast Marianne Williamson, the self-help author whose contributions included the dotty pronouncement that Democrats needed fewer concrete plans, and instead should just wing it like Donald Trump did. “Has anyone tried fixing America with crystals and bee pollen? Yoga?”

Colbert also zinged NBC’s Chuck Todd for his performance as moderator. who “loves the sound of his own voice.” When Todd attempted to force the candidates to offer “one-word answers” to a question, Colbert volunteered what he thought a candidate could respond.  “’Bite me, Chuck’? Oh … that’s three.”

Coming out of one clip of Todd flailing as he was trying to control the flow of conversation, Colbert had a fake goatee and moustache. “Please don’t talk too much, OK? You’re not Chuck Todd – I am!”

The Late Show online crew had a better day than Wednesday, putting up some hilarious online moments, including a fun send-up of TV’s The Golden Girls.

Here are the tweets: