Jimmy Kimmel : When Oscars Are One Minute Long, Ratings Will Be Huge

Two-time Oscar host Jimmy Kimmel thanked his studio late-night audience for joining him across the street from the Dolby Theater the night after the awards ceremony was held there, calling it ” a very dirty night here in Hollywood the night after Oscar night.”

“I understand they’re still mopping up the glitz,” Kimmel snarked.

The ABC late-night star confided he’d watched the Oscars from his house, in a tuxedo, and “full hair and makeup – just in case someone called at the last second and said, ‘Hey listen we needed ya.’ But they didn’t.”

“There was no official host this year, and the show was 36 minutes shorter than last year.  Which people like, I guess,” Kimmel said.

He predicted they’d shave 36 minutes off the host-less Oscars that are bound to follow, “until it is exactly one minute long.  And the ratings will be huge.”

“I tried pitching having no host for this show tonight,  but ABC didn’t go for it,” the JKL host snarked.

But I’ll tell you, this is some network.  We had an Oscars without a host and a Bachelor that won’t have sex with anybody,” he complained.

To compensate for lack of host, the Oscars had a lot of singing on the show, Kimmel said, revealing the theme for Sunday night’s Oscars “was ‘the Grammys.'”

“Queen opened the show with Adam Lambert. They did songs from Bohemian Rhapsody. Bette Midler did a song from Mary Poppins and Lady Gaga sang with the racoon from Guardians of the Galaxy.That was quite a performance,” he enthused.

Spike Lee won his first Oscar for writing the screenplay for the movie BlacKkKlansman and, after his acceptance speech he got a shout-out from the President of the United States.

Donald Trump, Kimmel noted, pried himself away from the emergency at the border to tweet:  “Be nice if Spike Lee could read his notes, or better yet not have to use notes at all, when doing his racist hit on your President, who has done more for African Americans (Criminal Justice Reform, Lowest Unemployment numbers in History, Tax Cuts,etc.) than almost any other Pres!”

“He’s like, ‘You know if it weren’t for that damn Lincoln, I’d be number one!’,” Kimmel quipped.

The fact Trump wrote this tweet hours before he leaving for his de-nuclearization summit with North Korean ruler Kim Jong Un “is kinda all you need to know about how his mind works,” Kimmel said. “He was thinking about Spike Lee.”