Trevor Noah’s take on President Donald Trump’s Oval Office border-wall brawl began with The Daily Show host imagining Santa’s reaction to POTUS’s $5B gift demand, with which to buy his “big shiny border wall.”
Santa does not intend to put $5B under Trump’s tree, because he’s on the Naughty List, for putting children into cages, Noah noted.
“Trump’s like, ‘Oh yeah, I’ve been so naughty; I’ve been a bad boy!'” the late-night host continued, then imagined the rest of that exchange:
Santa: “Are you making this sexual?”
Trump: “Spank me, Santa. Spank me with the Naughty List!”
Minus Santa gifting him, Trump’s only other option: negotiate with Dems, as a December 21 deadline looms, to avoid a government shutdown Trump has threatened over wall funding.
“The clock is ticking and you send in DONALD TRUMP to diffuse this bomb?!” Noah marveled.
He rolled the video, at the end of which, speaking for many, Noah wondered, “Why does Chuck Schumer keep talking to the camera? He’s like a character in an episode of The Office!”
Noah’s fave part of the 20-minute smackdown was Veep Mike Pence not saying a word the entire time. Many memes had followed its broadcast on TV. Noah weighed in, with a thought bubble on what Pence was mulling all that time: Hulu’s adaptation of The Handmaids Tale, in which women are, by law, not allowed to work, own property, have money, or read.
“That seems about right,” Noah said.
No politician in their right mind wants to take blame for a government shutdown, Noah acknowledged. “But Donald Trump is not a politician. Donald Trump is a moron.”
On the other hand, Noah also called it “monumental” that Trump just agreed to take blame for anything.
“This is the same guy who keeps Mike Pence around to blame farts on,” Noah pointed out.
“So, today I’m proud of President Trump,” Noah said, “because taking blame shows some personal growth on his part. Though, if we’re being honest, he probably just thinks if the government shuts down there will be nobody there to impeach him.”
“Which is the second thing he asked Santa for!”