SNL‘s cold open featured Baldwin’s Trump in Argentina for G20. He is having a sleepless night on the balcony of his hotel room as the walls from the Mueller investigation close in on him.
“I feel like they’re coming after meeeeeeee!” he complains to Melania (Cicely Strong).
Melania, doing her best to comfort his anxiety says, “Worst-case scenario, you’ll go to prison and transfer your money to me for safe keeping.”
As she wanders off, Kate McKinnon as a creepily gnarled Rudy Giuliani pops in on him after hanging upside down underneath the balcony. Trump asks him for updates on the Mueller investigation to which he answers that there is good news that “it’s almost over.” When Trump asks what the bad news is, Giuliani responds, “It’s almost over.”
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Trump then asks an update on his legal defense and Giuliani says, “I’m involved so it’s not great…this might be the first time someone’s lawyer pleads insanity” before literally spreading his bat wings and flying away.
Looking for more comfort, Trump makes a phone to…Michael Cohen! Yup, Ben Stiller is back as Cohen and when he answers he’s nervous and cries, “I’m not supposed to be talking to you!” He then admits he can’t say no to his “Donnie Trumpiluphigus.”
Instead of himself, Trump asks if he can turn in Eric in old age makeup and a fat suit into the feds saying “Eric will never catch on.”
Trump admits that he is sad that Cohen will be heading to jail because he was like a son to him.
“Then why do you make me do illegal stuff,” whines Cohen”
Trump responds, “Because you are like a son to me.”
After hanging up on Cohen, Trump says “I haven’t been this upset since I flipped out over that parking space” — which is an obvious wink-wink, nudge-nudge from Baldwin about his little scuffle that made headlines.
Finally, a shirtless Beck Bennett appears as Putin on the balcony to talk to Trump. As we all know, Trump was a little pouty about Putin having a special handshake and bromance with Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia Mohammed Bin Salman — who just happens to be there as well in the form of Fred Armisen.
Trump is a little jealous but Putin assures him that he and the Crown Prince aren’t “bros or anything.”
“You’re not my side piece,” says Putin. “You’re like my main girlfriend…this guy is a random hooker.”
After a couple of more secret handshakes and jokes about killing a journalist, Trump is left alone on the balcony and appropriately singing his own rendition of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.”
“The truth is I’m very guilty,” he sings. “Some little no-nos and maybe treason, I kept my promise…oops no I didn’t.”
Watch the skit above.
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