“I am proud to shut down the government for border security, Chuck!” President Donald Trump roared at Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer toward the end of an explosive White House clash with Schumer and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

After their first meeting since Dems took control of the House in the midterm elections, the politicians sat for what was supposed to be a photo op, but quickly came to resemble feral cats in a pillowcase.

“People in this country don’t want criminals and people that have lots of problems, and drugs, pouring into our country,” Trump bellowed at Schumer, as Schumer looked into the middle distance, savoring the moment Trump took his bait and promised to own the government shutdown as news cameras got it on the record.

Pelosi, meanwhile, set a new record for number of “Trump Shutdown” mentions in a single presser.

Pelosi also noted Trump lost a lot of seats in the House; Trump countered he’d gained seats in the Senate.

“When the President brags he won North Dakota and Indiana, he’s in real trouble,” sneered Schumer.

We did win Indiana and North Dakota,” Trump bragged.

“Elections have consequences, Mr. President,” Schumer hissed.

“And that’s why the country is doing so well,” Trump spit and clawed.

All the while, sitting quietly next to POTUS, because he could not find a trap door in the White House floor through which to escape, Veep Mike Pence watched his 2020 dreams fizzle.

After the fracas ended, Pelosi stood outside the White House and said “Trump Shutdown” two more times.

Schumer victory-lapped too: “The bottom line is simple. The President has made clear he wants shutdown…We want border security…but Americans know The Wall, which will not be paid for by Mexico any more, is not the way to border security, and experts know that.”

“This temper tantrum he seems to throw will not get him a wall and will hurt a lot of people. He admitted he wants a shutdown. It’s hard to believe he would admit that,” Schumer beamed.

Added Pelosi: “We have Trump’s Shutdown as a holiday present to the American people.”

“One final point!” Schumer jumped back in. “The $1.3B we gave him last year for border security? less than 6% of it has been spent.”