UPDATE, with video “Many races not been called yet, but with 100% of Fox News reporting, Democrats will take control of the House of Representatives!” Stephen Colbert said at the top of his live midterm elections night Late Show, giving viewers the good news first.
His Ed Sullivan Theater audience erupted happily.
“Sweet!” Colbert beamed, forecasting the House will now open an investigation into the President “and finally find out if Donald Trump has ever done anything unethical.”
“Everything after this is just gravy,” Colbert beamed. “Democrats have taken control of half of one of three branches of the government. All the GOP has is the other half of Congress, the Supreme Court and the President who does whatever he wants.”
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Apparently voters responded more to Democrats call to fix health care than Trump’s core message, “Latinos are coming to hit you in the face with rocks,” Colbert explained.
This is how America found out, around 9:30 when only 98 of 435 house seats had been called, suddenly, on Fox News. Brett Baier projected Democrats will take control of the House for the first time in eight years, in a major setback to Trump’s legislative agenda.
“Wait a minute. Is Trump right? Is Fox the only non Fake News?” Colbert asked.
Returning from commercial break, Colbert told his viewers Ted Cruz has held on to his Senate seat in Texas, pouring himself a stiff bourbon, after explaining to viewers he wanted to be better prepared for bad election news than he had been two years ago. Colbert got gobsacked at his live election night broadcast on Showtime in 2016, when Trump took the White House.
“But then again, why wouldn’t Ted Cruz win in Texas because, at the end of the day, real cowboys only love three things: barbecue, rodeo and Canadians who went to Princeton and Harvard,” Colbert cheap-shotted.
“Ted Cruz beat Beto O’Rourke, although, by not being Ted Cruz, Beto is still a winner,” Colbert insisted, taking a swig, acknowledging Cruz’s win means Republicans have officially kept control of the U.S. Senate.
Meanwhile, in Kentucky, anti gay marriage county clerk Kim Davis lost her re-election, he told an approving crowd.
“All this time she was worried about gay people getting married, when she should have been worried about them voting,” Colbert quipped. Her opponent, meanwhile, ran on a bold platform of being willing to do his job.
Also in the Plus Column, in Kansas, “Laura Kelly has defeated Grand Imperial Vote Suppressor Kris Kobach,” Colbert smiled, reminding viewers Kobach is the guy Trump put in charge of finding those three million illegal voters.
Colbert’s guest, The Circus star John John Heilemann did not read the memo about Late Show being live. Reminding Colbert he had been guest on his 2016 Election Night Horror, Heilemann pulled a bottle of booze out of a Late Show tote back he said the show gifted him two years ago, telling Colbert, “You can have that f*cker back.”
“You know this is live TV, right?” Colbert responded.
“Oh no!” Heilemann said, looking foolish.
Wrapping the show, Colbert announced Rick Scott has defeated Bill Nelson in the Florida Senate race, though he got it wrong and had to correct himself. Asked by Colbert what it meant, The Circus‘s Alex Wagner predicted the division that already existed is going to get steeper.
“And, if possible, the road ahead may be even uglier than it has been thus far,” she said, ending yet another Colbert election night live show ended on a glum note.
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