The Daily Show’s Trevor Noah got straight to the only story anyone was talking about in the news cycle, and on late-night TV : Christine Blasey Ford, the women who came forward first to accuse Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh of sexual assault.
Noah observed that Senate Judiciary Committee chair Chuck Grassley stole some of the hearing’s early attention “trying so hard not to look like a sexist a**hole.”
But Ford took the spotlight when senators asked her how can she be sure, all these years later, it was Kavanaugh who assaulted her, and she started talking like a PhD in psychology.
“Oh snap!” Noah smiled. “She’s a brain scientist!”
Republicans brought in an outside sex crimes prosecutor to ask their question, because “they wanted to avoid the optics of a sexual assault victim being interrogated by the world’s most wrinkly boy band,” Noah joked.
After Ford was finished testifying for four hours, it was Kavanaugh’s turn. “I don’t know if he’s got something going on in his life, but he seemed really angry,” said Noah, in a masterstroke of understatement.
Kavanaugh went all Donald Trump on the Democrats in the committee, “acting like the whole thing was wasting his time,” Noah said. It’s called entitlement. To demonstrate, Noah played a clip in which a female senator asked if he had ever drunk alcohol to the point of blacking out, to which he responded, “Have you?”
“Good lord, this guy such an a**hole he looked like he was a auditioning for a Snickers commercial,” Noah described perfectly.
Noting Kavanaugh has been consistently shady about his history of partying as a teen-aged boy, Noah commented that we could get to the bottom of Ford’s allegations much more easily if the FBI was allowed to investigate. But after watching another exchange between Kavanaugh and a Democratic senator, Noah concluded, “I don’t know if finding out the truth is on Kavanaugh’s calendar.”
The one-day hearing was never going to be enough time to get to the truth, only enough time to make both sides feel better about how they were going to vote anyway. “And nobody dug in harder than Lindsey Graham,” the Comedy Central late-night host said.
Noah played a clip of the day’s Lindsey Graham Theatre in which the GOP senator shrieked that the hearing was the most unethical sham he’d ever seen in all his years in politics.
“Really, Lindsey? The most unethical sham you’ve ever seen in politics?” Noah eyebrow-raised. “Phone call coming in! Merrick Garland says ‘Hi’.”