“I went to Yale!,” Damon said repeatedly as SNL re-created this week’s Senate hearings. “I worked my butt off to get here! I lifted weights! Every day with Tobin and PJ and Squee and Donkey Dong Doug and had a couple thousand beers along the way.”
The sketch gave just about everyone on the SNL cast a chance at the Senate – Kate McKinnon, of course, was Senator Lindsey Graham, Chris Redd was Cory Booker, Pete Davidson was Sheldon Whitehouse, getting the chance to introduce to SNL the concepts of boofing and Devil’s Triangle. Ex-SNLer Rachel Dratch returned to play Sen Amy Klobuchar, recreating the dueling Do You Drink Beer? moment. A cardboard cut-out of Alyssa Milano played Alyssa Milano.
But the sketch belonged to Damon, who not only resembled Kavanaugh but got the sniffling down pat, as well as the judge’s trademark mouth-pucker and eye squint. He said he practiced his opening statements “while screaming into an empty bag of Doritos.”
Under questioning, Damon’s Kavanaugh blamed the “political con job” against him on the Clintons, George Soros, Kathy Griffin and “Mr. Ronan Sinatra.” Despite his anger, he described himself as “usually a keg-is-half-full kinda guy.”
“I got these calendars,” he said weepily, “these beautiful, creepy calendars. And I’m not backin’ down you sons of bitches – I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘Stop’.”
The sketch wound down as McKinnon’s Graham repeatedly defended Kavanaugh by comparing him favorably to “Bill Cosby,” which made Damon’s judge very, very angry. “Please, just stop saying Bill Cosby!”
Watch the video above.