Samantha Bee became the latest late-night comic to critique Paul Manafort’s alleged Money-Launder fashion line, also updating her viewers on the latest antics of the “sad sticky wad of congealed hair gel” that is Donald Trump Jr.
Manafort, President Donald Trump’s former campaign chair “and man who would go missing in a Sopranos episode” is the first member of Trump’s inner circle to go on trial in the Russia probe, she noted. Makes sense, she said, because before joining Team Trump he worked as an adviser for pro-Russian leaders such as “Ukrainian President and flesh golem Viktor Yanukovych.”
Manafort might have also gotten in over his head. Right before he joined the Trump campaign, he was in debt to pro-Russia interests by as much as $17M, Bee said, citing news reports. “Authorities first became suspicious of Manafort when they saw the headline ‘Pro-Russian Interest Owed $17M By Surprisingly Still-Alive Man’,” she joked.
Prosecutors say Manafort illegally hid his income from pro-Russian groups using shell companies, foreign tax shelters and, naturally, fashion. Prosecutors say Manafort failed to pay taxes on tens of millions of dollars earned from his lobbying work on behalf of Ukrainian politicians, allegedly laundered the money through lavish purchases including a $21K watch, and that jacket made from ostrich that keeps attracting late-night hosts’ attention.
“Money laundering makes sense because the only other reason to own this jacket is if you’re doing a cocaine deal in 1987,” Bee weighed in.
Trump seems pretty comfortable letting Manafort twist in the wind, but pundits were more surprised when one of POTUS’ weekend tweets threw his own son under the bus. That much-discussed tweet: “Fake news reporting, a complete fabrication, that I am concerned about the meeting my wonderful son, Donald, had in Trump Tower. This was a meeting to get information on an opponent, totally legal and done all the time in politics – and it went nowhere. I did not know about it!”
“Donald Jr. is at the center of pretty much every Trump scandal,” Bee noticed. “If Donald Trump is the death star, Don Jr. is the exhaust port.”
She walked viewers through Don Jr.’s involvement in dad’s problems over recent years, landing on the Trump Tower meeting with that Russian lawyer during the presidential race. Of all his dad’s interests he has bungled, none is more important/stupid than his interactions with Russia, Bee said.
Junior and others from Team Trump met with a Russian lawyer at Trump Tower in June 2016 after Junior got an email promising him dirt on Hillary Clinton, to which he responded ‘If it’s what you say, I love it.”
Don Jr. recently got asked about that during a phone interview with Fox News’ Laura Ingraham, suffering a “dropped phone line” when asked to comment.
“Yeah, reception is kind of spotty when you’re calling from a fleeing Bronco,” Bee snarked.
Donny also was in close contact with WikiLeaks leading up to the election. He even asked them to leak him information on Hillary. “But it’s okay,” Bee said, “because, at one point he also messaged WikiLeaks that their communication was off the record – WikiLeaks! – bless his heart.”
Even Trump supporter Steve Bannon has forecast authorities are “going to crack Don Junior like an egg on national TV.”
Calling Don Jr. “The Forrest Gump of Collusion,” Bee said the “sad sticky wad of congealed hair gel has spent his whole life seeking his dad’s approval and failing at it.”
“And now he might be the one to bring down Trump’s presidency,” she forecast.