NBC’s Late Night star Seth Meyers set the bar high for late-night show stars’ Upfront Week performances, spending about six minutes spewing zingers at Radio City Music Hall during NBCUniversal’s presentation today that elicited gasps, groans and laughs.
Among the highlights:
– “NBC as you all know stands for Nothing But Chicago. We got Chicago Fire, Chicago P.D., Chicago Med – everything but Chicago accents. That would be going too far.”
– “This Upfront Week got off to a dramatic start when NBC picked up Brooklyn Nine-Nine after Fox canceled it. Fantastic news for a great show, but it still feels a little bit like NBC is Fox’s deadbeat friend: ‘Hey, uh, you gonna finish that? Can I have it?’ ”
– “It’s not surprising for NBC to be dramatic. We are home to the No. 1 drama on television, a show that each week gives us twists and turns, heartbreaking reveals and, this season, the departure of a once-beloved character. I’m talking of course about This Is The Today Show.”
– “Hoda Kotb replaced Matt Lauer as co-anchor of the Today show this year, and she has been incredible…Everyone here is so proud of Hoda, though I’m not sure Kathie Lee is happy about it. I saw her drinking at 10 AM.”
– “NBC continues to produce highly rated musicals. NBC aired a live version of Jesus Christ Superstar this year starring John Legend…You know a network has some range when they have a black Jesus AND Megyn Kelly.”
– “NBC had a huge year thanks the Super Bowl and the Olympics. And I realize that’s a weird thing to bring up because this year we don’t have either. It’s like a waiter coming over to tell you which specials they’re out of: ‘We had a seared halibut that is to die for and also not available.’ “
– “Advertisers paid over $5 million dollars for a 30-second ad at the Super Bowl this year, which is a lot. That is a lot considering Donald Trump only paid $130,000 to Stormy Daniels for the exact same amount of time.”
– “Today is a day for celebrating new shows but let’s also spare a thought for the show that weren’t renewed, the pilots that weren’t picked up, and the shows from the ’90s that weren’t revived. If you had a show in the ’90s and your phone didn’t ring this week, you must have been heartbroken. If there was ever a year for Season 4 of Veronica’s Closet it’s now!”
– “At this point there are two kinds of development execs: the ones who develop new ideas and the ones who rummage through the storage closet, trying to see if we still have the ALF puppet. You guys, ALF is back. And THIS time he’s a climate change denier!”
– “How we advertise on television changes every year. Not only only commercials, there are ad integrations. For my money the best ad integration was on USA, between the TV show Suits and the Royal Wedding. Whatever the queen paid for that integration, it was worth it, because I have been hearing a LOT about that wedding. I think people are going to watch that wedding.”
– “For my money the most interesting ad integration was when that Crock-Pot killed Jack on This Is Us. What an incredible re-branding for slow cookers. I used to think slow cookers were how old people made chili, now I’m like ‘what up slow cookers? You dangerous!’ “
– “It’s now my honor to introduce two people whose reboot was so successful I’m sure at least one exec at NBC says, ‘We can’t bring back The Cosby Show, right? Of course not! Just blue skying! Ladies and gentlemen; Eric McCormack and Debra Messing.”
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