Samantha Bee came out swinging in her latest episode of TBS’s Full Frontal, blasting one-time show guest Eric Schneiderman. The New York State Attorney General resigned this week in wake of damaging allegations of physical abuse published by New Yorker magazine.
Bee found that “especially infuriating” given that, throughout his political career, Schneiderman has positioned himself as a feminist crusader, championing the #MeToo movement, filing a civil rights lawsuit against Harvey Weinstein and crafting an anti-choking law, which, in one of those incredible coincidences, is what some of his ex girlfriends have accused him of doing to them.
“Now, Schneiderman was a guest on my show, so this is a little complicated for me to talk about but…Just kidding, it’s not complicated: Fuck you, Eric Schneiderman!” Bee fumed.
Then she said it again. Only louder, adding, “It will not give me not one second’s pause about tearing you a new asshole on live television. I give zero fucks.”
Following that opening, she suggested checking in on the other “festering hemorrhoids on the ass of the entertainment industry” as a photo montage of Matt Lauer, Weinstein, Charlie Rose, etc. appeared on screen.
“The Award for Most Entitled Of All Abusers goes to Charlie “There’s No Way Journalism Can Happen Without Me” Rose,” Bee announced.
A recent report had Rose trying to mount a new talk show in which he would interview other men deposed from positions of power and wealth by women who came forward with credible claims of sexual harassment and abuse. Rose’s career rehab strategy came to light via Tina Brown, who said she had been approached to produce the show being produced by she could not remember who, and which she thought might be for Netflix, only Netflix quickly responded “no way, no where, no how,” or words to that effect.
And, likely driving a stake in whatever it was Rose was hoping for, soon after Brown’s report, an additional 27 women came forward saying Rose had sexually harassed them, including 14 at CBS.
“Turns out the CBS News logo is just an eye that shuts whenever a woman asks for help,” Bee observed. She had some free advice for the “fellas” cut down to size by #MeToo: “No one knows better than you how many people you’ve assaulted or harassed. Maybe, before you pitch a TV show about it, ask yourself: ‘Have all the women I’ve non-consensually shown my penis to come forward to in the press?’ If the answer is ‘no’, go away. If the answer is ‘yes’, also go away. If I’ve said anything that applies to you, just fuck off.”
But Bee wasn’t done with Rose yet, saying she’s met him a few times and has been on his show, at which she greeted her, “a stranger/colleague, with a kiss square on the lips with just a hint of tongue, like a turtle softly eating an apple core.”
“At the time I thought he was just the average gross old man,” Bee scoffed. “Turns out he was so much worse. So, no more TV shows for you!” Bee insisted.
So long as these abusers keep trying to re-enter public life – Rose’s story was just one of the latest – Bee said it is her “solemn promise that I will happily pick up the metaphorical hammer to slam you back down and remind you that you have not yet done anything to earn our forgiveness. So take your millions of dollars, and pay a therapist to care about how tough it’s been to be caught being an abuser because, honestly, I don’t give a shit.”
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