“A lot of people are expecting me to celebrate because this is devastating to Donald Trump,” Colbert gloated of Monday’s FBI raid on the home, hotel room, and office of Trump’s personal attorney.
“I’m not allowing myself to feel about this. I’m going to be professional,” Colbert promised. “But, it is a huge deal. Exact moment as I speak, FBI agents are so far up Donald Trump’s business they’re reading his emails with a proctoscope.”
The CBS late-night host noted FBI agents had snapped up Cohen’s computer, personal finance records and even his phone.
“Now he’s going to have to threaten porn stars by telegram.”