He began his show telling viewers that Donald Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen was in court today, desperately trying to keep his client list quiet. Cohen has three known clients. One of them is Donald Trump, for whom he paid off Stormy Daniels. Client No. 2 is Elliott Broidy, former deputy finance chair for the RNC, for whom Michael negotiated a 1.6 million dollar payment to a Playboy model Broidy had an affair with and impregnated by the way.
“So he’s a good dude,” Kimmel joked.
Hours before Kimmel’s monologue, Cohen was forced by a judge to reveal the name of a mystery third client. Shockingly, Client No. 3 “turned out to be none other than my old pal Sean Hannity,” Kimmel beamed.
“Isn’t that interesting? That he would need advice from Michael Cohen?”
Hannity released a statement today, seeking to clarify his arrangement with Cohen:
Michael Cohen has never represented me in any matter. I never retained him, received an invoice, or paid legal fees. I have occasionally had brief discussions with him about legal questions about which I wanted his input and perspective.
“That sounds normal. He has a lawyer – he doesn’t pay. By the way, I’m thinking of hiring Michael Cohen as my lawyer,” Kimmel snarked. “He only has three clients and apparently, he works for free. He doesn’t take money from anyone.”
Kimmel noted Hannity tweeted furiously in the afternoon, insisting he assumed his conversations with Cohen were confidential, but that they “never involved any matter between me and a third-party.”
“What kind of legal advice doesn’t involve a third party?” Kimmel joked. “Unless Hannity is thinking of suing himself?”
The late-night host described Hannity as “chief propaganda guy for Trump’s legal team – but he never disclosed that he is also represented by a member of that legal team.”
“This is the biggest witch hunt in history – and we are running out of spots on the broomstick. It’s getting very full.”
Kimmel and Hannity go way back – having spent a couple days last week hurling insults at each other. It started when Hannity called Kimmel an “ass clown” over a Kimmel monologue joke mocking First Lady Melania Trump’s accent as she read a children’s book at the White House Easter Egg Roll.
Kimmel called Hannity an “ass clown circus.” Hannity called Kimmel a “pig, pervert and racist”; Kimmel responded, “I’m starting to think SOMEONE has a crush on me.” Hannity called Kimmel “a poor man’s Colbert.” Kimmel called Hannity “a poor woman’s Rachel Maddow.” Hannity promised to disembowel Kimmel on his show, for his Melania jokes. Kimmel decided it had gone too far and extended an olive branch to the First Lady. Hannity said the apology seemed orchestrated by ABC parent Disney, but invited Kimmel on his show, because ratings are a terrible thing to throw away.