CBS’s Late Show host finally figured out the end of the 2016 presidential race was no cause to retire his Caesar Flickerman-esque character, what with Donald Trump acolytes falling as fast as had GOP candidates during the race.
So he dusted off the the gag to say so-long to Secretary of State Rex Tillerson after his firing-by-Twitter, and used the occasion to catch up on all the other Trump-olytes who have bit the dust, including Hope Hicks, Gary Cohn, Rob Porter, Anthony Scaramucci, Sean Spicer, Tom Price, Steve Bannon, Reince Priebus, Michael Flynn, etc.
“Rex was born in the small town of Exxonmobil,” Colbert noted, and served as national president of the Boy Scouts from 2010 to 2012, where he prepared for a future in public service by introducing the merit badge in Moron Identification.
Tillerson had admitted from the get go he was an unconventional choice, having no prior government experience. “Have you seen the rest of the cabinet?” Colbert said, flashing photos of Betsy DeVos, Ben Carson, etc. “We’d settle for ‘Has Been To The Post Office’,” Colbert quipped.
Colbert reminded viewers of reports Tillerson had only take the job after Tillerson’s wife said god wanted him to. (That part is not a joke.)
“Yes, Rex, she got a message from god: god want you out of the house because god doesn’t want you moping around when god is trying to watch This Is Us,” Colbert snarked.
Just because, in his short run as Secretary of State, Tillerson demonstrated enough wisdom to call Trump a “f*cking moron,” he should not be given too much credit, Colbert cautioned. Under Tillerson’s watch, 60% of top diplomats resigned, and he was unable to fill vital positions such as ambassador to South Korea, leaving some pundits to declare him one of the worst Secretary of State picks in modern history.
“Which is saying something, because I know one Secretary of State who couldn’t even beat Donald Trump in an election,” Colbert noted, adding “the truth hurts” when his studio audience groaned.
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