UPDATE, with video So the Bachelor didn’t choose Lauren after all. In a beat-for-beat recreation of that two-timing Arie Luyendyk’s rejection of a teary Becca Kufrin, Saturday Night Live delivered its quirkiest cold open since Melissa McCarthy first donned a tie.
In SNL‘s telling, the Bachelor is special counsel Robert Mueller – as played by the irreplaceable Kate McKinnon – and his big break-up was with the prospect of convicting Donald Trump on collusion charges.
Watch the scene above.
The sketch opened with cast member Alex Moffat portraying The Bachelor host Chris Harrison, warning viewers that what they were about to see would be hard to watch.
From there, we see Cecily Strong in The Bachelor‘s Becca role, sitting stunned and weepy as McKinnon’s Mueller breaks the bad news: “I don’t think I can give you everything you want right now and I think you sense that.”
Replies a stunned Becca, “You don’t have Trump on collusion?”
But what about the 13 indicted Russians? What about Stormy Daniels?
“The more time that goes by,” says Mueller, “the more I keep thinking about…obstruction.”
As the bleak news settles in – depicted via split-screen, just like The Bachelor break-up – a dashed Becca asks, “So that’s it, he’s just going to be president?…Oh my god, so I have to wait two more years for him to be out of office?”
“Honestly,” says Mueller, “probably six.”
But the investigator did offer some consolation.
“Do you own American steel?”