“Sure he does,” Oliver snarked. Then, thinking better of it, added, “Actually I don’t doubt that he wants to talk, but he’s going to have to physically get through his lawyers first. He’d have to eat his way through their hands over his mouth. He would perjure himself before he’d finished his name.”
“I think he would do a good job, and I think he should do it,” the CBS late-night host said, speaking to an audience of one and looking directly into the camera.
Realizing where Colbert was going, Oliver added, “If I can just co-sign on that,” also addressing same audience of one and looking at camera.
“I know I joke around a lot, Mr. President, but I also think you would do an excellent job and I too think you should do it.”
The Daily Show alums also discussed Trump’s plans for a military parade.
“I will say this, it won’t make him happy,” Oliver forecast. “It’s important he know that. Whatever this presidency is about – the search for a lost father’s love, trying to fill a void with something tangible – that parade is going to go past him and he’s going to be like, ‘This isn’t it either. Those phallic missiles, no. Okay, it must be something else.’”
“And that is when we’re really fucked,” Oliver said, explaining Trump will continue to make decisions based on his belief, “‘Surely I can fill this hole with something.’ Whereas he can’t; he’s an emotional vacuum and he’ll die that way.”