“It’s interesting, the White House is releasing their own line of Valentine’s Day cards this year. Have you heard about this?” ABC late-night host Jimmy Kimmel said, to a crickets response from his studio audience.
“That’s because we made it up,” Kimmel was compelled to explain, because in a world of Trump steaks, Trump water, Trump fragrance, and Trump neckties, a Trump line of Valentine’s Day cards is not far fetched.
“I guess we’re at the point where anything is believable,” Kimmel acknowledged, responsing to his audience’s initial confusion.
Once the crowd got the gag, they got played along as Kimmel ticked off their Trump Card Collection options:
Donald Trump’s is the “best seller,” Kimmel said; it reads: “I flip for you!” It features a picture of the presidential comb-over recently flapping in a high wind.
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ card: “The White House categorically denies it is Valentine’s Day… No more questions.”
White House advisor/apocalyptic speech-writer Stephen Miller’s card: “I wanna have your children… deported!”
Donald Trump Jr.’s card: “I’ll be thinking about you in prison,” while brother Eric’s reads: “I love you like Daddy loves Jared.”
And, in nod to her convention speech, First Lady Melania Trump wrote, simply: “Whatever Michelle Obama said last Valentine’s Day.”
House Speaker Paul Ryan’s card: “Your lips are sweeter than the president’s ass! … Be my Valentine.”