The night after making news with porn star and alleged Donald Trump gal pal Stormy Daniels, Jimmy Kimmel noted Trump on Tuesday night delivered his first State of the Union address “and I think part of his second, too.”
The speech was the third-longest in SOTU history at an hour and twenty minutes, “mostly because they stopped so many times for applause,” Kimmel complained.
“Every ten seconds he stopped to clap for himself, like a seal begging for a sardine.”
“I bet he claps after sex,’ Kimmel speculated, imagining Trump asking, “Wasn’t I fantastic?”
It was a typical Trump speech, Kimmel said, in that “four fact-checkers had to be hospitalized for nervous breakdowns.”
“One of them, sadly, is not expected to pull through.”
Trump bragged about creating two and half million new jobs – “mostly defense lawyers for himself,” Kimmel noted.
Trump also offered what he called an “open hand” to members of both political parties, to work together in a bipartisan way
Trump calling for bipartisanship, Kimmel said, is “about as believable as Mike Pence calling for bisexuality.”