Stephen Colbert Envies Jimmy Kimmel’s Interview With Sean Spicer

UPDATED with video: Stephen Colbert was Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night guest Thursday, in promotion of his gig this weekend hosting the Emmy Awards. But talk quickly turned to former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, who was Kimmel’s big “get” the previous night.

“How exciting for Americans to see two talk-show titans, side by side,” Kimmel joked when Colbert joined him onstage.

“You rarely see two middle-aged white men talking on television anymore,” Colbert deadpanned.

After some conversation as to whether Colbert’s entrance had been too long, too short, too hot, too cold or just right, Colbert abruptly changed the topic to Spicer, sounding only slightly like a late-night host who’d tried, but failed to snag Spicer first.

“I loved you with Sean Spicer last night. It was great. What was he like in person? I’ve always wanted to talk to that cat.”

Kimmel said Spicer was “much smaller than I thought he was going to be.”

“Really?” Colbert replied, as if he’d known this fact all along.

“Yeah he’s a small guy. I did not realize….Did you know?”

“Yeah,” Colbert smiled. “I knew he was small because I’ve met Melissa McCarthy. She‘s minuscule.”

McCarthy, of course, had just won an Emmy for playing Spicer on Saturday Night Live, which Spicer had joked to Kimmel cost him a bundle in therapy.

“If I was President, I’d have one size podium and you have to use it no matter how tall or short you were,” Kimmel fantasized. “How much funnier would he have been if he was just peeking over that thing.”

“Kind of adorable,” Colbert agreed, speculating “people would have been nicer to him.”

Kimmel agreed, saying he sort of feels sorry for Spicer after his tenure as President Donald Trump’s press secretary.

Colbert jumped on that.

“Really?” Colbert said. “Because he wasn’t apologizing. He wants to be forgiven but he won’t regret anything he did. You’ve got to regret something you did to be forgiven.”

Spoken like a guy who knows he won’t be booking Spicer anytime soon.