Late Show, Stephen Colbert walked viewers through the various ways President Donald Trump went alpha-dog and metaphorically peed on the bushes at the NATO summit in Brussels this week.

That includes Trump initiating another of his hilarious handshake matches, with French President Emmanuel Macron.  Colbert read from the White House press pool description of the handshake:

Each president gripped the other’s hand with considerable intensity, their knuckles turning white and their jaws clenching and faces tightening.

“The White House press pool apparently now is also writing erotic fan fiction,” Colbert joked on Friday’s program.

And news outlets were all over that incident in which the PM of Montenegro, the latest addition to NATO, made the rookie mistake of getting between Trump and a camera.

“What a jerk,” Colbert muttered of POTUS.

“But Trump was not done offending our allies,” the late night host continued. In his summit speech, Trump blasted 23 of 28 member nations still not paying what they should be for their defense.  Afterwards, the heads of the NATO countries let him know how they felt about his address.